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Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide (2004)
Popularity 24.6
Overview
The whacky adventures of Ned Bigby and his best pals Moze and Cookie at James K. Polk Middle School, as "every-kid" Ned shatters the fourth wall to share tips and tricks on navigating middle school or junior high hurdles. Ned's not super cool, and he has no superpowers. He is, however, witty, well-groomed, upbeat and self-aware. Moreover, with more than a little help from his two best friends, he's equipped to conquer middle school minefields. From crushing bullies to crushes, from off- the-wall, mean and cool teachers to pop quizzes, elections and detentions, Ned knows that nothing, including the seventh grade, is as bad as it seems, and friendship matters most.
TITLE INFORMATION
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THE PEOPLE BEHIND IT
Cast & Crew
Performers and key production credits saved for this title.
Top Cast
Devon WerkheiserNed Bigby
Lindsey ShawJennifer 'Moze' Mosely
Daniel Curtis LeeSimon 'Cookie' Nelson-Cook
Daran NorrisGordy
Key Crew
Scott FellowsProducer
ARTWORK GALLERY
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EPISODE GUIDE
Seasons & Episodes
Season and episode information in the catalog.
Season 1
13 episodes · First aired 2004-09-12 · ★ 9.0 Middle schooler Ned Bigby assembles a survival guide for kids just like him to prepare them for the ups and downs of adolescence.
E01
Guide to: The First Day & Lockers
2004-09-12 · 24 min
First Day: It's the first day of school, and Ned and Cookie discover Moze has taken Cooking instead of Art to separate herself from the guys for once.
Lockers: When Ned's new locker neighbor gives him a bad rep, he searches for a new locker. Moze tries to use her locker to make new friends that are girls, but ends up competing with Suzie Crabgrass.
E02
Guide to: Bathrooms & Project Partners
2004-09-19 · 24 min
Bathrooms: Cookie tries to hold using the bathroom but gets stuck in the girls' room. Moze puts Ned's name on a bathroom stall, and someone puts kissy lips next to it.
Project Partners: Moze must choose a partner for Social Studies. Ned and Cookie's baby is kidnapped.
E03
Guide to: Detention & Teachers
2004-09-26 · 24 min
Teachers: Ned clashes with Mr. Sweeney and realizes how to get an A, by doing the work! Moze has a new student teacher in math who she devises a plan with so the class with listen after it has gone crazy. Cookie is distracted by the beautiful Ms. Enstile and tries to control his affection toward her.
Detentions: Ned, Cookie and Moze are sent to detention.
E04
Guide to: Seating & Tryouts
2004-10-03 · 25 min
Seating: Ned and Cookie to figure out how to sit at the cool table. Moze changes when she moves to the front of Science class and does so good that the teacher reverses the room, making Moze in back.. Gordy helps Cookie create the ultimate bus bounce.
Tryouts: Ned tries to ascend to the basketball team and tries to become taller so he'll make the team. Moze goes out for volleyball, basketball, track, but must decide between them. With some help from Ned, she decides which is right for her. Cookie tumbles into cheerleading and demands equal rights after being kicked out.
E05
Guide to: Crushes & Dances
2004-10-10 · 25 min
Crushes: Ned has a crush on Suzie and Cookie has developed a "perfect match" computer program. Coconut Head follows Moze and she thinks that Coconut head wants to ask her to the dance.
Dances: Ned wants to dance with Suzie. But with her getting together and breaking up, will he be able to dance with her? Moze has dance tips of her own while Cookie waits for supermodel Martika after forcing to get her to be his perfect match.
E06
Guide to: Sick Days & Spelling Bees
2004-10-24 · 25 min
Sick Days: Ned must stay healthy when the flu hits Polk Middle School and he finds out Matt Hoffman is coming to visit. Cookie tries to keep his perfect attendance record in tact with help from Lisa. Moze tries to get sick and miss her speech in Social Studies. Not succeding, Moze must make her speech but finds out it is easier than she thought.
Spelling Bee: Cookie is the only one with a chance to beat the dreaded Killer Bees. With an easy spell at the spelling bee, will it be Ned who beats the Killer Bees? Moze copes with sitting by Mr. Gross after spelling a word wrong.
E07
Guide to: Rumors & Photo Day
2004-11-07 · 24 min
Rumors: Rumors terrorize the group; a rumor spreads that Ned and Moze are dating, and Cookie and Gordy fight against Mr. Sweeney to see if a rumored "atomic flush" is true, and Ned develops a plan for it.
Photo Day: It's Photo Day at James Polk. Ned gives Moze a crash course on how to take a good picture, and Cookie holds auditions for someone to take his picture for him.
E08
Guide to: Talent Show & School Elections
2004-11-28 · 25 min
School Elections: Ned doesn't want to run for class president because it's a popularity contest. Moze and Cookie think he'd be great. Ned tries to drop out by vandalizing, starting food fights, and that. It comes down to the undecided vote, Coconut Head! Now its a mission to find out who he will vote for.
Talent Show: Ned and Cookie create "Talentpalooza" when kids are excluded from the school talent show. Moze must decide which of her many talents would be good for the show. Cookie gets people out of the regular talent show and into "Talentpalooza" which gets the principal mad.
E09
Guide to: Computer Lab & Backpacks
2005-01-02 · 23 min
Computer Lab: Ned and Moze are banned from the computer lab. Cookie learns about life away from technology thanks to Lisa Zemo. Ned and Moze disguise themselves to get back in the lab.
Backpack: Ned needs a new backpack after his breaks so he goes to Backpack Boy for help. Moze loses her backpack so she needs to find it before somebody reads her personal diary. Cookie creates the "bodypack" so he doesn't need a backpack, but it backfires on him due to Loomer.
E10
Guide to: Notes & Best Friends
2005-01-09 · 25 min
Notes: Bitsy has Ned pass a note and Sweeney catches him, now he must pay. He has to write an essay along with everyone else so they plot revenge. Cookie finds joy in forging notes, but danger comes when he leads the teachers to the forgers "domain".
Best Friends: Moze continues her search for a new best friend with a quiz and whoever matches up closely is meant for her. But Moze ends up joining the Huge Crew. The Killer Bees recruit Cookie which puts Ned and Cookie's friendship to the test. Ned tries to find a new best friend in place of Cookie.
E11
Guide to: Day Dreaming & Gym
2005-02-05 · 25 min
Daydreams: Ned daydreams in Science class. Sweeney challenges the class to answer a riddle before they can go to lunch. Fairly Odd Parents lend Ned a hand, along with super agent Moze and Tech Wizard Cookie.
Gym: Moze and Ned spar in martial arts and Ned gets thrown for a loop. So now Ned practices to beat Moze, after being humiliated by being beaten by a girl. Cookie must pass Derga's gym requirements so he does Seth's homework in return for Seth to do Cookie's laps for him.
E12
Guide to: Cheaters & Bullies
2005-02-12 · 25 min
Cheaters: Ned must decide if he's going to cheat on a test. Bitsy keeps copying Moze's work so Moze develops a plan to get Bitsy in trouble. Cookie develops a system for studying and is accused of cheating which leads him to take his test without any tools, proving a point to the teacher.
Bullies: Loomer is looking for Ned and Cookie, they decide to make a stand. Moze and Claire start Peer Mediation to help with problems at school The only problem is that they cannot find a teacher worthy of leading Peer Mediation. But when they find him, it is too late to stop Ned and Lumer's fight?
E13
Guide to: Emergency Drills & Late Bus
2005-02-19 · 24 min
Emergency Drills:Every time Ned wants to ask Suzie to Chandra Taylor's party an emergency drill distracts him. Eventually, Ned gets to ask Suzie and she accepts. The only problem is Ned can't go to the party because he, Cookie, and Moze are trapped in Gordy's extra supply locker.
Late Bus: When bus number 9 breaks down, all the kids are stuck waiting for another bus. Loomer makes a deal with Ned that he won't bully him for an entire year if Ned helps him get Moze's attention. Meanwhile, Cookie is leading a "Cookie's Late Bus After School Tour" in which he shows kids what teachers do after hours. We see Coach Dirga crying over a soap opera, and the worst possible thing ever, a teacher rap group taught by Lil' Romeo. Also, Moze makes friends with another Jennifer, but finds out it's her last day. And what we have seen, this may lead to a friendship between Moze and Suzie Crabgrass.
Season 2
20 episodes · First aired 2005-10-01 · ★ 8.0 Alongside his pals Cookie and Moze, Ned tackles a new semester with an ambitious to-do list while sharing his own tips on how to survive middle school.
E01
Guide to: New Semester & Electives
2005-10-01 · 25 min
New Semester: Ned seeks his first kiss from Suzie Crabgrass which is on his "new semester list", but first he enlists Moze's help to break up Suzie and Loomer. By breaking them up Ned would have Suzie. Meanwhile, Cookie starts the new semester with a new super cool look and becomes a bully. Electives: Ned, Moze and Cookie try out different electives so they can finally get a class together and score an easy "A."
E02
Guide to: Pep Rallies & Lunch
2005-10-08 · 25 min
Pep Rallies: Ned becomes school mascot Wolfie, so he can miss class. Moze struggles to give a peppy speech and Cookie tries to spice it up with his own Super Cookie halftime stunt! Together they realize the true meaning of pep rallies isn't about cheerleaders and jocks, but it can be about getting you in spirit with normal people.
Lunch: Ned tries to stop "One Bite" who's taking is lunch and eating it in "one bite." After devising a plan with hot sauce, Ned is sure "One Bite" won't steal his lunch anymore. Moze wonders why Suzie doesn't want to sit with her at lunch. Moze tries everything she can possibly think of, yet none of it works. Cookie panics after lunch lady predicts doom.
E03
Guide to: School Clubs & Video Projects
2005-10-15 · 25 min
Video Projects - Ned and Cookie team up to make the ultimate video project. But the ultimate video project is easier said, than done. Moze makes a documentary about Mr. Wright, who's acting way too cool and not himself.
School Clubs - Ned tries to stop Missy's Popular Club. Ned feels it is taking over the school and that Missy thinks everybody is a nerd. Moze and Suzie compete in every single club to be the best but it backfires and they get kicked out. So they have only one club left to choose from. Which club will they join? Cookie starts his own club, the Archaeology Club which helps Ned get into Missy's club and bring him all around the school.
E04
Guide to: Notebooks & Math
2005-10-22 · 25 min
Notebooks: Ned and Gordy caper to swipe Sweeney's "Golden Notebook." Moze finds a notebook full of juicy school rumors and Cookie invents the video notebook.
Math: Ned starts a math study group with the smartest kids in class, but they soon realize that Ned isn't doing any work. Moze is faced with the challenge of pre-algebra and Cookie is promoted to 8th grade honors math, but his teacher is crazy.
E05
Guide to: Vice Principals & Mondays
2005-10-29 · 25 min
A series of school property destruction incidents leads to the introduction of Vice Principal Crubbs, who suspects Ned, Moze and Cookie. So, the three take the investigation into their own hands, CSI-style.
Ned and Moze try to come up with ideas to beat the Monday morning blues; Cookie must help Gordy stay awake on Monday.
E06
Guide to: Your Body & Procrastination
2005-11-05 · 25 min
Your Body: Moze freaks when she feels she is too tall. After crushing somebody's project, she really wants to become short. Ned tries to become strong after Coach agreed to Loomer that they'd have a weight lifting competition. Cookie tries to become overprotective so Loomer won't hurt him.
Procrastination: Moze bets Ned that he won't finish his project on time and the loser has to stand in front of the school as a clown. Cookie creates a machine that will stop his procrastination problems. Moze also needs to learn to clog dance.
E07
Guide to: Gross Biology Dissection & Upper Classmen
2005-11-19 · 25 min
Upperclassmen: Ned offers to give a 5th grader a tour of the school. Moze likes an upperclassman.
Gross Biology Dissection: Ned is torn between Moze and Suzie during a biology dissection project.
E08
Guide to: Dares & Bad Habits
2006-01-14 · 25 min
Classmates dare Ned to ask out Missy; Moze must wear a dress as part of a dare and meets three girls she suspects are robots; Cookie competes with Loomer to be the "King of Dares".
Ned tries to fix his bad habit of saying yes to everyone; Moze tries to fix her habit of trash-talking; Cookie tries to replace his technology hoarding habit with something else.
E09
Guide to: Substitute Teachers & The New Kid
2006-01-21 · 25 min
Substitute Teachers:Ned helps Mr. Weiner, a favorite substitute from Elementary School get in touch with his middle school side. Cookie poses as a substitute teacher. Moze becomes bad-girl material and misbehaves to the new science substitutes.
The New Kid: Ned tries to help a new kid, Bernice, at James K. Polk. Gordy compete against a new janitor that could take over his spot.
E10
Guide to: Valentine's Day & School Websites
2006-02-11 · 24 min
School Websites: Ned, Moze and Cookie make changes to the school website.
Valentine’s Day: Ned sends Suzie a rose. Cookie sends himself multiple rose to try to be the hottest kid in school, and Moze becomes the hottest girl in school.
E11
Guide to: Shyness & Nicknames
2006-02-25 · 24 min
Nicknames: Ned tries to create a new, cool nickname for himself by doing wild stunts but ends up injuring himself in the end, while Moze decides she no longer likes her nickname (Moze) and tries to have her friends simply call her "Jennifer." Cookie invents a nicknaming machine that Loomer quickly steals for his bullying advantage. Cookie sets out to fix what he messed up, while Ned has trouble calling Moze Jennifer.
Shyness: Ned finds the Obo twins to be a perfect match for his girlfriend needs and Moze's best-girlfriend need. The only problem is that they're too shy. So Ned and Moze try to make over the twins. Cookie starts up his own shyness seminar.
E12
Guide to: Asking Someone Out & Recycling
2006-03-18 · 24 min
Asking Someone Out: Ned hires some people to find out if Suzie will go on a date with him.
Recycling: Ned, Cookie, and Moze compete to win a mountain bike in a recycling contest. Everything they collect is stolen, but Cookies idea of glueing bottles together ends up in him having it bought by an art collecter. Ned loses the guide in the recycling madness, and Moze sneaks into the teacher's lounge to collect recycling.
E13
Guide to: April Fools Day & Excuses
2006-03-25 · 24 min
April Fools Day: Ned, Cookie, and Gordy team up to fool the king of April Fooling: Vice Principal Crubbs. Moze tries to break up with Seth, but he thinks it's a prank.
Excuses: When a dog actually eats Ned's homework, nobody believes his excuse.
E14
Guide to: Secrets & School Car Wash
2006-04-08 · 24 min
School Car Wash: The boys and the girls compete in the school fundraiser to see who can wash more cars. The boys team wants a hot tub, but the girls want to use the money more wisely. The boys, mainly Loomer, have bigger concerns than winning, while the girls band together to win.
Secrets: Ned and Cookie see Loomer kissing Missy. So they have to keep this a secret or else.... Meanwhile, Loomer's friend tries to tell everyone that he is in the sewing club. Moze learns Seth can't read or write well, and really feels she should tell someone.
E15
Guide to: Spirit Week & Clothes
2006-04-15 · 24 min
Spirit Week: The King and Queen of Spirit are destined to go out; always! And Suzie wins the girls side with ease, to continue the family tradition of being spirit week queen. Knowing this, Ned gets in a battle with Martin Qwerly for Spirit Week King. Cookie and Moze get stuck with the spirit stick and can't let it touch the ground or cause the school to have bad luck.
Clothes: Ned and Moze get tickets from Missy’s newly formed fashion police. Cookie creates a school uniform.
E16
Guide to: Yearbook & Career Week
2006-04-15 · 24 min
Yearbook: Ned tries to win “Best Smile” in order to be next to Suzie Crabgrass in the yearbook forever. Cookie tries hacks into the yearbook and makes some changes.
Career Week: Vice Principal Crubbs wants Ned to pursue a career in education, but Ned isn't interested. Cookie decides he wants to be a sports agent and signs Moze as his client.
E17
Guide to: Music Class & Class Clown
2006-05-06 · 24 min
Music Class: Ned and Cookie try to survive the boredom and tedium of learning an instrument in Music Instruction class while Moze gets Mozart music stuck in her head in Music Appreciation and can't get it out.
Class Clown: When the Class Clown moves to Cleveland, Ned, Cookie, and Moze do an all out search for a new clown before things get to depressing at Polk. But everyone who tries gets in trouble with Crubbs.
E18
Guide to: Failing & Tutors
2006-05-13 · 24 min
Failing: Ned is warned that he must ace all his final exams or he might stay back a grade. Moze gets her first "F" ever and panics, doing everything she can to plan more study time, including quitting volleyball and not wahing her hair. Cookie tries to fail tests on purpose to avoid advancing to High School.
Tutors: Ned has to find a tutor in order to avoid summer school. Moze gets into some tutor trouble by having a bunch of sixth graders fall in love with her. Cookie is paired up with the nastiest "tooter" of all for his final Social Studies project.
E19
Guide to: Science Fair & Study Hall
2006-05-20 · 24 min
Ned enlists Moze's help to win a ribbon in the science fair; Cookie attempts to impress Vanessa and her grandmother.
Ned tries to study for a test, but he is constantly distracted; Moze gets injured and must wear a traction device, which makes nobody want to talk to her; Cookie tries to sneak out of study hall to meet Vanessa, but the teacher refuses to give him the bathroom pass early.
E20
Guide to: Double Dating & The Last Day
2006-06-03 · 24 min
Double Dating: For the final dance of the school year, Ned and Suzie double date with Moze and hunk Jock Bitterman. Cookie meanwhile is asked by Lisa and says yes. Soon after Vanessa says yes, so Cookie must take Lisa and Vanessa to the dance and keep them separated.The Last Day: Ned and Moze try to figure the best way to tell Suzie about “the kiss”. Determined to catch the weasel before the summer, Gordy lets Cookies Battle Bot free in the halls, where it unleashes havoc.
